Living With Oreo

Now that spring is definitely here, I've discovered some additional changes that Oreo has made to our life. First, of course, was the discovery of a backyard full of dog poop that appeared after all the snow melted. That wasn't so bad since Cheryl had been making regular poop patrols throughout the winter. Thus, there wasn't that much left when spring arrived and a couple of quick cleanups managed to get rid of most of it.

One minor complication arose from all this waste removal. We are part of a City of Ottawa pilot project for the recycling of organic waste. As part of that project, we get a large, wheeled, green container that we fill with food waste, leaves, yard waste and just about anything that decomposes (short of human remains). Since animal waste was on the list of acceptable materials, I cleverly decided that on the rare occasion that I disposed of Oreo's poop, I would dump it in the green container.

This environmentally friendly approach seemed to be working well throughout the winter. But springtime revealed a minor flaw in my plan. A layer of Oreo's droppings had settled at the bottom of the green container and, after the spring thaw, had managed to congeal there. Even when the garbage collector emptied the container, there still remained an unwanted layer at the bottom.

It was Cheryl who discovered this unwanted gift and spent part of one afternoon cleaning out and disinfecting the container. When I returned home that evening, she advised me (or actually ordered me) never, ever to throw Oreo's poop in the organic collector again.

Spring has also revealed another gift that Oreo has given us - a backyard full of sticks, balls and toys. Last summer, I hadn't really noticed an unusual number of these items in the yard. But with the departure of the snow, it became readily apparent that our dog had accumulated a wealth of things to chew, bite and otherwise play with. Given the number of such items, if I didn't know better, I'd assume that we were running some kind of doggie daycare.

A third gift has been bestowed upon us by Oreo this spring. Thanks to his frequent outdoor urination (which, by the way, I am very thankful for, considering the alternative), we now have a large number of yellow areas on our side and back lawns. Not that our lawn was ever much to look at before. But now we are quickly becoming the shame of suburbia.

A fourth present results from Oreo's racing about the backyard. As he flies back and forth, he inadvertently digs up the flower beds, leaving ruts and holes where his paws have passed. And then there are the holes that Oreo deliberately digs up. With every passing week, our backyard is looking less and less like a candidate for Better Homes & Gardens and more like a set for a war movie.

All this to say, we have doubled our annual expenditures on grass seed, topsoil, fertilizer, mulch and any number of other lawn and garden spreadables. I fear that with Oreo in the picture, this annual fight to retain our lawn is now a losing battle. Perhaps it's time to throw in the trowel and realize my longstanding dream - an entire yard covered with Astroturf.