Sunday, November 11, 2007


Rude Pig

Since Cheryl was taking Sarah to dance class this morning, I volunteered to take Oreo for his morning walk. Nothing extensive, mind you; just a 20-minute walk around the neighborhood.

Being the unimaginative guy I am, I usually take the same route, the halfway point of which is a dog-filled house at the corner of two nearby streets. Most times, the three dogs from that house are not in their yard. But today they were out and, once they spotted Oreo and me, they started barking like.....well, dogs.

This has happened to me before and I just continue walking as the dogs stand inside their fence barking madly. Oreo, of course, takes no notice of these ill-mannered curs and keeps walking, too, without so much as a peep.

For some strange reason, today I got the not-so-bright idea that maybe if I walked Oreo up to the fence that he could rub noses with the miscreants and they would settle down. But as soon as I started towards the fence with Oreo in tow, the dogs' owner came out into the yard and started calling out: "Ignorant! Ignorant!"

At first I thought she was talking to her misbehaving mutts. I explained that I had hoped that maybe the dogs would play. It was then that I again heard the woman's avian-like call: "Ignorant! Ignorant!"

At this point, I had passed her backyard and was now walking along her sideyard. She opened the gate a bit to her sideyard, at which point I said: "Excuse me. What did you say?" All I heard again was her one-word warble: "Ignorant! Ignorant!"

There was clearly no doubt that her limited vocabulary was directed at me. Rather than take the high road and continue on my walk with Oreo, I stopped and said "What a rude pig!" Not my finest hour to be sure but I felt I had to say something. Obviously not something witty and biting but something nonetheless.

Oreo and I continued on with our walk, leaving the delinquent dogs barking madly and their owner in full-throated song with her unique "Ignorant!" cry. Since her house is on my semi-regular dog-walking route, we may meet again. But if we do, I will be sure to steer clear of her yappy menagerie and just keep on walking. I may be ignorant but I'm not stupid.

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