Wednesday, May 03, 2006

 

Oreo And Me

Last night while watching the hockey game, Oreo and I had a long, overdue chat. I complimented him on his generally satisfactory behavior but I made it clear that he had become a very expensive dog and that things would have to change.

I took from Oreo's silence that he was a bit put out by my criticism. Nevertheless, I continued with my admonitions. I urged him to avoid any unnecessary medical trips to the vet. I patiently explained that by taking adequate precautions, he could steer clear of infections in his eyes, ears and urinary tract. I also reminded him that avoiding nails, fences and large, nasty dogs would significantly cut down on the need for stitches.

Oreo seemed to be receptive to these warnings. He stopped brooding and asked to play fetch with his chew toy which I took to be a sign that he understood what I was telling him.

Once I got on to the financial matters, however, Oreo quickly lost interest. He simply didn't want to hear about the continuing expenses that his presence has incurred. I urged him to seek employment or otherwise help to defray the costs of his room and board.

Oreo's only response was to bark repeatedly. Apparently this was his way of saying "I'm still only a puppy and not in a position to earn any significant money. You're a writer. Why don't you get off your butt and write a bestselling dog memoir like Marley and Me?"

I patiently explained to Oreo that books are not easy things to write and that any such venture would require his cooperation. At that point, he turned and walked upstairs apparently wishing to give me the message that this was essentially my problem.

As it stands, I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree.

Comments:
Despite being a reluctant dog owner, I have to agree with you Audrey - Oreo is cute....but expensive!
 
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